I had some insights about me that I would like to share.
First off, I'm not a person who really bonds with people. I mean, like a real strong bond. I've never had any "feelings" that one of my friends or close family members needs something - and I'm the one to deliver it.
I don't have any friends from my public school days. I didn't have many "close" friends when I was in elementary school and the friends I made in jr. high and high school have faded into my empty yesterdays. When I went to my 10 year class reunion, I said hello to what were my friends, but was honest enough to not take any contact information. We all knew we wouldn't keep track of each other. If we didn't keep in contact during the last 10 years, why would we do it in the next 10?
I made some friends in college but don't know where any of them are. In fact, I don't think I could even list a first & last name of 10 of them.
I have not felt like I need to mourn loosing family friendships, either. I thought I was friends with some of the Jensens, but don't keep in close contact with any one. Yeah, I know where they all live but don't stive to keep personal contact with them. I think that watching what they do on Facebook or on blogs is knowing a little of who they are.
Second, I don't like being alone. But, I always knew this. I like having lots of people around me. I think it gives me the false sense of belongingness. Like I am close to these people. Maybe they'll like me more.
So why is it that I'm not closely bonded to people, but I like lots of people?
Does it really matter?
These are just a few insights.
You'd Better Write That One Down
14 years ago
1 comment:
I fancy myself this intensely private person, but I blab all my secrets and rarely keep anything private and keep in touch with tons of people.
Maybe it's the opposite with you? You like to be surrounded by people but deep down, would prefer to keep things private and not make those personal connections.
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