Not depressing

Elaine said I am way too depressing in my blogs. Sorry Elaine!

Here's a fun update. Elaine did my hair yesterday and it is fire red in places! I love it. (I just hope it doesn't fade too quick.) I always feel so great after getting new colour. Thanks bunches little sis, you are the best! And you're my favourite.

Friends

I got an e-mail from Ganine about the differences between simple friends and real friends. It was one of those "Pass this on to all your friends, including me" things. I generally don't forward much of anything on to anyone. As I read the list, however, I felt somewhat sad. I started thinking, who are my simple friends? Who are my real friends? And I realized that most people in my life are superficial friends. I pretend to know you by reading your blogs or looking at your Facebook status', but am I really your friend, be it simple or real?

What can I do to change that?

What kind of friends do you have in your life?

Perfect Birthday

I turned 35 last week and had the best birthday.

It snowed, I got to volunteer in Evan's classroom, Bryan made a fantastic dinner and even surprised me with a few guests for dessert. (thank you) Many people sent me a quick "Happy Birthday" via Facebook and some people even took the extra effort to call me.

I don't have any strange feelings about turning 35 and honestly, I didn't think I'd get many, if any, greetings for my birthday. So, to see that some people really care for me made my day. Thanks to you all.

I like birthdays.

So, it's been about a year since I left LDS church and I have to admit, there are some things I miss and some things I don't.


Don't Miss:

• 3 hours of church.

• guilt.

• having to worry about what to wear.

• Losing one day a week. Couldn't do anything (it seems) on Sunday

Do Miss:

• Having a reason to visit with women (visiting teaching)

• Being the reason for a visit (visiting teaching)

• Mostly everyone knowing my face AND name.

• Primary Music

• neighbourhood "friends"

I've been thinking about this list for quite awhile, unfortunately, I am not a writer and this is the most we get for now.

insights about me

I had some insights about me that I would like to share.
First off, I'm not a person who really bonds with people. I mean, like a real strong bond. I've never had any "feelings" that one of my friends or close family members needs something - and I'm the one to deliver it.
I don't have any friends from my public school days. I didn't have many "close" friends when I was in elementary school and the friends I made in jr. high and high school have faded into my empty yesterdays. When I went to my 10 year class reunion, I said hello to what were my friends, but was honest enough to not take any contact information. We all knew we wouldn't keep track of each other. If we didn't keep in contact during the last 10 years, why would we do it in the next 10?
I made some friends in college but don't know where any of them are. In fact, I don't think I could even list a first & last name of 10 of them.
I have not felt like I need to mourn loosing family friendships, either. I thought I was friends with some of the Jensens, but don't keep in close contact with any one. Yeah, I know where they all live but don't stive to keep personal contact with them. I think that watching what they do on Facebook or on blogs is knowing a little of who they are.

Second, I don't like being alone. But, I always knew this. I like having lots of people around me. I think it gives me the false sense of belongingness. Like I am close to these people. Maybe they'll like me more.

So why is it that I'm not closely bonded to people, but I like lots of people?
Does it really matter?
These are just a few insights.

I love parties

I love hosting parties and going to parties. I love the buzz of people milling about. When I host a party, I love the fact that my house is so very clean, even if just before the party. I tell Bryan we ought to have people over once a week just so I have a reason to keep it clean.

I'm excited for the Mensa Halloween party tomorrow because, well, it's Halloween and we can do some fun things. I just wish Bry would have asked for a bigger budget......

public ranting

I admit this is a somewhat passive-aggressive way to rant. Why? Cuz I really don't think anyone reads this which is fine with me.

Today was Bryan's nephew's (LDS) baptism. We went to the church and was talking with another nephew when Bryan's mother walked in. She went wayyyy around us. Her husband (Bob) asked where she was going and she replied that she didn't want to interrupt our conversation. I took personal offense at that because it seemed to me that she went wayyyyy out of her way to not even walk by me or say hi to me.

She didn't even say any words to me until several hours later as we were standing in line for food. She said, "Now I can greet people." I asked her what stopped her before. She mentioned something about having to help with the food.

I don't think she likes me anymore. Should this bother me?